Hi friends.
I said I'd review Fever Pitch this week, because of Valentines day, but I've decided to put that on the back burner for now. I want to talk about something else in this week's blog post.
I was at a hockey game the other day, supporting a family member, when something caught my eye as I was walking back into the rink after the intermission.
A woman was having a rather heated discussion with the coach of the team my family member was on. At first, I thought they were joking with one another, but as I got closer, I could tell it wasn't a joke. She was complaining because her kid wasn't getting enough ice time. Apparently he wasn't being played enough and -- according to her -- came home "with tears in his eyes" after every game, even if the team won.
I won't name the team, the parent, or who's child was theirs, because it's not important. I will tell you that this was a higher level of hockey, the kids were at least over 15 years old, and this game was potentially their last playoff game of the season, a game of significant magnitude.
There comes a certain point in every child's sporting career where they have to make a choice. Do they want to strive to compete at the higher-skilled levels of their sport? Or would they rather just play for fun? Because the brutal truth is that "fair play" is only held in tact for so long. There comes a time, where no matter what someone's age is, the skill level of each player has to be taken into account with regards to playing time. The coaches will play their best players, that's the nature of sport, and the nature of winning.
I've played on hockey teams where I've been the 5th or 6th defenceman, and I knew when the game was on the line, I wouldn't be out on the ice. I played four years of AAA baseball and there were times where I'd go entire games without playing. I played a year of football, where as a rookie I knew I wouldn't see the field in the 4th quarter, that's how it was, and I was OK with that.
Some people who I've talked to believe that the players are the one's to blame, when there's an issue of lack of playing time, and that they shouldn't whine so much. After what I saw the other day, I'm starting to think it's the parents that need to take a step back, look in the mirror, and think about their actions and how they might affect not only their children, but their children's team. The fact that a mother would not only talk to, but yell at a coach going into to third period of a playoff hockey game, and put a burden on her kid's team isn't just wrong, it's selfish, immature, and misguided.
Here's a simple fact, sports parents: If your kid isn't one of the best players on the team, don't expect them to get the same amount of playing time as the more skilled players, especially when the game is on the line. I'm all for fair play to a certain extent, but there comes a time where winning becomes important, and if you're not a difference maker on your team, you won't play as much. It's blunt, I know. But it's the truth.
I'd be furious with my parents if they did something like this to my coach. I'm glad that they never did. I'm glad they understood that sometimes, winning outweighs fair play, and letting the coach do what he/she needs to do is usually what's best for the team. Some parents need to take a step back, think about their actions, and let the coach do their job. If an outside parent has such great ideas, then let them coach the team, and see how that works out. There's a reason that coaches are chosen to lead teams. It's because they know the game, and they know what they need to do to win. If a parent can't deal with that, then they should sign their kids up for rec league.
Some parents just like to make the game about themselves, instead of letting their children enjoy it. They have some weird, twisted idea that they know what's going on in their kid's mind, and if they don't think that their kid is getting a fair shake, they need to intervene and do something about it. Do they ever stop to think about what their child wants? Or that maybe, just MAYBE the game isn't about them?
I don't know if this kid actually went home with tears in his eyes, or if he even complained about his ice time at all, but it's not the parent's job to accost the coach about it, let alone in between periods of a playoff game. For christ-sake, show some class, and at least talk about it in private so you don't affect the rest of the team.
The problem extends beyond parents and coaches, however. Some parents also have troubles with regards to verbal, and even physical abuse towards officials, many of whom are kids themselves. I personally remember a coach calling me a "little shit-head" when I disallowed a goal during his sons games years ago. I was 14 years old, and the kids were 10. Some parents are so wrapped up in their own sense of pride that they disregard the feelings of officials, coaches, and even their own children.
Sports parents need to think about their actions and how it will affect those around them. They need to realize that their kids are not going to be the next Sidney Crosby, LeBron James, Peyton Manning, or Derek Jeter. Maybe some are, maybe some kids will be better than them, but that's no excuse for a parent to interfere with the team when they really have no say in what the team should do. A coach plays the best players in the situations where it's called for, that's it folks. If you don't like it, then don't sign your kids up for competitive sports.
I'd like to refer back to something that ex-NHL Head Coach Mike Keenan said when he was here speaking at Southdale Community Centre that sums up what some parents need to hear:
"Calm down, your kid isn't going to the NHL. So chill out, and enjoy the game."
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